Ron Villano, M.S., LMHC, ASAC is the leading expert in working through change. As a father who lost his 17-year old son in an auto accident, he always speaks from the heart. As a licensed mental health counselor he guides others on how to work through difficult times. As a national speaker and author of Be Zing, Ron has appears on TV and radio throughout the world. Visit www.RonVillano.com to listen

to his featured interviews and watch for his recurring appearances on Verizon FiOS1 (Channel 1/501 on FiOS) feature show “Push Pause.”

Dear Ron:

The change of season makes me feel so blue! Blue days are shorter

so it gets dark earlier. It gets cold out so I don’t want to be out of my

house. Seems like there is less to do so all I wind up doing is sitting

around my home. I enjoy the holidays when they come around, and

I take everyone up on invitations when I can but there always seems

to be an air of blah until spring. How can I keep my spirits up when

the sun always seems to be going down?

It certainly can seem like once the summer is over, things get a bit

“dim” as the nights start to get longer and it feels less comfortable

outside. Consider a few of these changes to lift your spirits! Make sure

to add new, bright colors to your home. Simple touches like pillows, decorative

items, and even a change of kitchen towels brings a spark into the

home. Take up an interest in beauty by taking photos which show the

season from an artful eye. e multiple colors of fall leaves, pictures of

frosty branches against a morning sunrise. Go on line and check out activities and places to see that are best done indoors — museums, libraries, even continuing/adult education. And lastly, if there was ever a time to try a new craft, now that more time is naturally spent in the home, why not get some creativity going and see what you can create when you put a fresh thinking mind on the job. There is great beauty in every time of the year!

Dear Ron:

My mother-in-law is just driving me crazy! I feel like every time I

speak with her, I wind up agreeing to do things that I really don’t want

to do. I don’t want to disappoint her or even argue with her as she

can really be a bit tough to deal with. Even when I try to say no, she

winds up talking me into doing it anyway! It’s really frustrating. How

do I say no with the respect she deserves?

This type of situation calls for two basic things. You knowing yourself

and what you want to do and what you don’t want to do.

And you being able to stand firm in your decision without the

negative emotions getting in the way no matter what is said. Say your

mother-in-law wants you to join her and some friends for lunch on a Saturday

that you have made plans already. Practice saying no in a few different

ways before you speak with her. “I would love to join you, but I

already have plans.” “I do have other plans for Saturday, but would enjoy

going to lunch with you on...” “It sounds like great lunch plans but I will

have to join you another day.” Standing firm also requires you to make

sure that you answer without the frustration emotion. That can often be

the harder part of saying no when you need to because guilt begins to

enter the equation. But when you know what you want to do, you can

embrace your choice, own the decision, and release the guilt. So, even

when the other person is being aggressive in their response, keep on your

own toes, and stick with the simple, direct, and emotion-free approach.

Please call Call 631-758-8290

Any questions send me an e-mail: RonVillano@ronvillano.com 

 Offices in Bohemia, East Islip, St. James, Maspeth and Levittown

Everything kept in strict confidence.