No, we're not talking about his use of a knife and fork to eat his slice, although that was a pretty amateur move. It's that he chose to eat at Gino's when New Park is less than a mile down the road. Despicable!
Obviously, the judgement of the presidential hopeful needs to be immediately called into question here. While Gino's is a fine enough slice of pizza, arguably the best slice in New York City is sitting in a brick oven within a stone's throw of the pizzeria he chose – or rather Councilman Eric Ulrich chose, perhaps?
One could argue that Kasich doesn't know any better or that his shoestring campaign can't possible afford the Northeast Regional Food Advisor that any well-run campaign worth its salt would make a priority position to avoid such a potentially campaign-ending food faux pas.
But he was dining in the very district Ulrich purports to represent, and Ulrich has endorsed Kasich. It sure is a funny way to treat a person you are supposedly supporting, steering them clear of the best slice in your district and, dare we say, the city, during a highly publicized campaign stop.
Is Ulrich perhaps in the calzone of Big Pizza? Is his rumored mayoral campaign secretly funded by the purveyors of inferior cheese, dough and sauce on Cross Bay Boulevard and throughout the rest of city? What second-rate slice joint in Brooklyn or the Bronx is secretly supporting Ulrich? Whose your Papa John councilman, the voters deserve to know!
A little sleuthing into recent campaign finance data doesn't clear the picture up at all. There's no contributions to Ulrich's 2013 campaign for City Council from anyone who listed either Gino's or New Park as their business affiliation. And he hasn't officially registered to run for anything in 2017, so that's no help either.
There is one registered Super PAC in the United States with “pizza” in the name, but we're guessing the Gay Indiana Pizza Party – yes, that's really a registered Super PAC according to opensecrets.org –probably doesn't care too much about the City Council or an upcoming mayoral race, so that turned out to be another dead end.
Is there a deep-pocketed donor out there with ties to Gino's Pizza that is pulling the strings and stretching the dough of Ulrich's potential run for mayor, which is why he steered Kasich there in the first place? Some sort of pay-for-pizza quid pro quo that, while technically not illegal, certainly calls into question the ethics of the city's smoke-filled brick-oven institutions that are the very basis for our system that allows every slice to reach its full potential.
Follow the sauce people!
If Ulrich is elected, will the city no longer be controlled behind the scenes by the real estate interests and developers, but by Big Pizza?
Actually, maybe that's not such a bad thing after all.
So, political accomplishments and ideology notwithstanding, do you really want to cast your vote for someone that choses Gino's over New Park? Governor John Kasich needs to know that New York primary voters are watching his slice selection!